We have all encountered people with mental illness in school, the workplace, among our friends, and in our families. If the emotional or mental distress is mild or non-threatening, empathy and compassion go a long way.
Dealing with someone who has a personality disorder is another matter.
When Charlotte Yardley's sister moved to her town after they had communicated mostly by phone for 40 years, she found herself ill-equipped to interact with someone whose behavior alternated between tears, depression, anger, blow-ups, and outright cruelty. She had thought they were close, but now she was being blamed for everything her sister believed was going wrong in her life. As Yardley dipped into co-dependence and depression of her own, she sought therapy. Through journal excerpts, summaries of concepts from books she read, excerpts of her sister's emails and therapy sessions, even a teacher-like handout, she invites the reader to join her in her journey toward acceptance of the kind of relationship she can and cannot have with her sister. Though the subject is dark, there is some humor, and there's a section of quick tips at the end for those facing similar relationship struggles.
From the Book: Susanna confided in me that, because she had been very depressed, she went gambling and lost a lot of money.
“A lot?”
“Eight thousand dollars - um, a little more.”
After a long pause, I said, “How did that make you feel?” (Call me Dr. Shrink.)
“Well, it felt good for a while. Less empty. Then it felt bad.”
That’s a pretty clear statement of how things might often feel for Susanna when she
acts on impulse.
"Splinter is an easy-to-read, well-written book. Many people suffer from various forms of mental illness and not everyone has access to the professional therapy that can help improve their lives. Something that is not generally discussed is the families of those afflicted and how they can deal with their loved-one's illness. This book is a step towards helping families coping with a mentally-ill family member."
Graham G. - Reviewed on March 1st, 2025
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